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5 steps to turning negative self talk into positivity

We all have our inner voice and we all do it – up to a certain point – that is, we let our negative self talk take over.  Something might happen that we didn’t want to happen, or something does not go our way and boom, there it is, our negative voice comes to the forefront. ‘oh you can’t do this..’ ‘oh you’re not god enough’ blah, blah, blah.

Now some people might use this voice to motivate them, but you have to ask yourself does it really? Would you allow someone else to speak to you like that? Or what is interesting is, if you ask yourself, would you speak to someone else like that? Many times, the answer is NO, so ask yourself why are you speaking to yourself like it?

The trouble is with the negative voice, it can be demotivating, demoralising and takes you in a downward spiral of negativity, getting worse and worse.  In the world of recruitment, we do not have the luxury and time to sit and wallow in our negativity. If we do, a good day gets worse, a client call goes downhill, candidates do not buy into us. We need to pick ourselves up and get back to being positive so we can make sure our sales calls go well, the rest of our day goes well and our interactions are as positive as they can be.  Now that all can be easier said than done. Just clicking our heels or waving our magic wand does not work.

So, what can we do to make that shift?

  1. When you recognise you have a negative voice, in your head shout stop. Then ask yourself a positive question, like, How can you? Or what can you do/say/be? i.e. I am
  2. Ask yourself the purpose of this negative self talk i.e. I want to be better at X, than instead of saying oh I am rubbish at X, ask yourself how you can be better, what do you have to do?
  3. Thank your voice, that way you make friends with it and turn it into a positive rather than a negative. i.e thanks for telling me that I am rubbish. What do you really want to say that is positive for me?
  4. Change the voice, sometimes it may not even be our voice, it could be that of a boss or an old school teacher for instance. Change the pitch, speed or volume so it sounds much more positive for you.
  5. Stop the talk and ask yourself, what would X say to me? X being someone who is a very positive influence on you, a mentor maybe, someone who is motivating and on your side. I bet they wouldn’t be telling you how rubbish/useless you are, they would no doubt be reminding you and asking you what you could do and what you are good at.

It takes practise, but turning that voice into one that is on your side will push you further towards your goals and create more positive outcomes for you.  It can make a good day great, make you feel like a force to be reckoned with and make you feel much more confident and positive.

If you would like further information, or would like help turning you or your teams negativity into a positive, than feel free to contact me.

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