Skip to main content

5 Emotionally Intelligent ways to deal with rejection.


Rejection can be really painful and even though text books will tell us not to take it personally, it can still hurt. After all, if we have put ourselves out there, we have put ourselves on the line, we are sacrificing a part of ourselves to be judged, analysed, it is going to be personal when someone says they don't like us.

Being emotionally intelligent doesn't mean we switch off from our emotions and give off the air that nothing sticks and we are all ok. Far from it, it is actually acknowledging our emotions, then using them in a positive way as opposed to a negative way. When I say a negative way, I mean in a way that is stopping us from being productive, or stopping us from moving forwards. An example of that could be; feeling sorry for ourselves, feeling angry, disappointed.

Here are my ways to help you move forwards after the dreaded rejection and to keep going:


  1. Acknowledge the emotion -I have just been talking about feeling negative emotions and when you get a knock back, you know what? It is normal and OK to feel whatever emotion comes up for you. The point of being emotionally intelligent is not to supress them, pretend that they are not there, or even say I should not be feeling like this. Know it's OK
  2. Think why it hurts. Ask yourself why this is bothering you. This could help you learn something about the way you are dealing with things and to help you move forwards.
  3. What have you learnt from it, what will you do better/differently next time?
  4. How can you use it to benefit you? In other words, how can you turn this into a positive emotion?
  5. How can you get a different perspective, knowing that rejection is part of the path to success.


Vanessa McLennan is an Emotional Intelligent Leadership coach, who helps Managers and Directors to lead effectively and become the inspirational leader they want to be.


With over 20 years in the recruitment industry, from running her own desks, leading teams, training other managers and recruiters to increase their billings, she understands the trials and tribulations about running a recruitment business.  She uses that knowledge along with her training in psychotherapy, counselling, EQ and Coaching to help leaders take that next step forwards.


Get in touch if you'd like to book a Coaching session with Vanessa.


Reader Comments (0)

There are currently no comments on this article. Why not be the first and leave your thoughts below.

Leave Your Comment

Please keep your comment on topic, any inappropriate comments may be removed.

Return to index

Copyright © 2017 – Inspired to Recruit - all rights reserved | SITEMAP | Website Design by Activ Web Design